Lots of miles, lots of conversations: intimacy after cancer

Lots of miles, lots of conversations: intimacy after cancer

One of those days where the miles rack up almost as quickly as the conversations. This morning I was in Didsbury running a workshop for women being treated at the Christie, who are coming to the end of their cancer treatment.

We were talking about sex, menopause and intimacy. As ever, there were the same frustrating conversations about women still being denied vaginal oestrogen despite living with symptoms that are, quite frankly, miserable.

We can, and should, be doing better than asking people to simply put up with pain, dryness, recurrent UTIs and the knock-on effect these have on relationships, confidence and quality of life. This should be the decision of the woman, in my view — with advice, rather than gatekeeping, given by their oncology team.

Minimising trauma, maximising agency

Then it was down the M5 to Bristol, ready for the British Gynaecological Cancer Society conference, where I’ll be encouraging more confidence in supporting women with intimacy after a gynaecological cancer diagnosis. This is about how we minimise trauma and maximise agency — and why both matter so much when it comes to returning to a sense of safety and pleasure in our bodies.

It feels fitting that the same conversations are happening in clinic rooms and conference halls, because they need to happen in both.

And somewhere in the middle of all that, the loveliest pit stop: a glass of wine with one of my oldest friends, Emma, and an hour spent putting the world to rights before getting back on the road. Lots of miles, lots of conversations. Hopefully, inching things forward.